Open Your Eyes: Kim Possible
by SteveAtwater
Summary: What do you do when your tech guru gets kidnapped? Do you strap on a fighting suit? Awaken your mystical monkey powers? Team up with your enemies to defeat an alien horde? No. You go out and get him back yourself. ESPECIALLY if the kidnapper is leaving you a trail of clues to follow. Takes place post-canon. Originally written as a gift for Dm4487.
1. Calling Out the Dogs

Hey, thanks for choosing to read my story. I really appreciate it.

This was originally posted on Archive of Our Own as "Open Your Eyes," a crossover between four different shows. The other three shows are _Uncle Grandpa_ , _Gravity Falls_ , and _Detentionaire_. Because of the way this site treats crossovers (no more than two shows can cross over) and because I didn't want to post it under Cartoon X-overs, I decided to do something different.

In the original Archive version, the characters from each show don't meet each other until near the end, when they all come together. Instead, the viewpoint switches between show from chapter to chapter. Because of this, I decided to post "Open Your Eyes" as five different fics: four detailing the path of each, and one ending that tied it all together. The ending fic will be called "Open Your Eyes" and placed under Cartoon X-Overs. If you want to read the other stories, they're posted as "Open Your Eyes: Uncle Grandpa", "Open Your Eyes: Gravity Falls" and "Open Your Eyes: Detentionaire".

This idea was originally proposed by Dm4487 on Archive of Our Own in the comments for my other work "Total Drama: Cartoon Multiverse." I wrote this as a gift for him.

Now that I'm done with the introductory notes, the story can begin!

* * *

 **Possible Residence  
Middleton, Colorado  
First Thanksgiving after High School Graduation**

It had been an eventful three months for Kim Possible. Moving to a foreign country, starting college, and carrying on a sometimes long-distance relationship (only sometimes long-distance because they still got together to fight villains about twice a week) were all more difficult to juggle than she'd anticipated. The fact that college coursework was harder than she expected also wasn't something Kim saw coming, and so she was pulling a 3.82 rather than her usual 4.0 through her first semester (although she was hoping to nudge it up to a full 4.0 with good marks on her finals). All of this made it a relief for Kim that she was able to come home for a few days to celebrate Thanksgiving with her family.

It had been an uneventful three months for Ron Stoppable. Staying at home while attending community college wasn't exactly the most glamorous thing to do after graduating high school, and although he'd been getting better grades than his usual Cs (and occasional B) in community college that was only because he had nothing better to do most of the time with Kim in a foreign country. Even Bueno Nacho lost much of its charm without her around, so Ron had nothing better to do than spend his time studying. While he enjoyed fighting crime with Kim, it made him sad that this was pretty much the only time they saw each other in person. So when he heard from Kim that she'd be coming home for Thanksgiving, he was instantly cheered up. The Possibles inviting him over for dinner only increased his anticipation since they frequently made great food–assuming, of course, that none of the Possibles sent dinner into outer space ("That was _one_ time!" Mr. Possible had defended himself, but Jim and Tim were always candidates for mischief) or discussed surgery tales over the dinner table (that incident had put Ron off his cranberry sauce for a good five minutes).

Thankfully, none of that had happened. Kim had come back to Middleton, they'd hung out, had a delicious dinner with her family, and had then headed up to her room to talk privately.

"I can't believe you ate ten pounds of food," Kim said to her boyfriend.

"What can I say, KP?" Ron said. "I think I've grown out of my overeating phase."

"Not quite what I was going for, but okay," she said. "So, what's up with Middleton Community College?"

" _So boring_ ," Ron said, lying down on the end of her bed. "What's going on in Venice?"

"Oh, you know–" Kim started to say. She was interrupted by a familiar beeping.

Ron and Kim shared a look. Kim pressed a button on her communicator.

"What's the sitch, Wade?" she asked.

Her mouth dropped open. Instead of Wade, a withered old man was on the Kimmunicator screen.

"Ms. Kim Possible, I presume?" the old man asked.

"The same," Kim said. "And you are?"

The old man chuckled and said "My name is of no real importance."

"What did you do with Wade!" Ron demanded.

"Ron!" his girlfriend reprimanded him.

"Oh no, your suitor is quite astute," the old man said. "But young Wade is safe with me. And if you want to get him back, you two will need to find the clues. Interested?"

"Us three," Ron said.

"What?" the old man asked, shocked.

"Me, Kim and Rufus," Ron said.

"Hmm. Very well," the man said. "I should warn you, though, there are three other teams competing with you to find their disappeared friends. Ah, but I'm sure that's no problem at all, correct?"

"Big problem huge problem!" Ron yelped.

"Ron's right," Kim said. "How do we know you're on the level?"

"You don't," the man said. "Ah, but that's all the fun of the hunt, is it not?"

"No," Kim said. "Just give us Wade back, or we'll have to show you what we can do."

"It says here you have to go to Albuquerque," the old man said, ignoring her. "Ooh, what a wonderful town! I loved it when I was there. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Have fun!"

"Wait!" Ron interrupted. "What are we supposed to do?"

The old man looked directly at the camera. His face grew deathly serious.

"Yin and yang must lead the way to shadows far below. Green and red will light the way; the others must follow."

The screen of the Kimmunicator went black.

"Great," Kim groaned. "Suit up, Ron. We have a mission."


	2. Christmas in New Mexico

**Somewhere over Albuquerque, New Mexico**

Kim and Ron were on a plane flying over Albuquerque.

"Hey, thanks for the help!" Kim called to the pilot.

"No problem!" he called back. "It's worth it since you saved my business from those attack gophers!"

"No big!" Kim told him. "They just needed to be sedated with satiric country tunes. The gangsta rap you were using only riled them up more."

"Not a fan of that song about Tiger Woods you used, though," the pilot added. "Anyway, you're gonna need to jump soon."

The door outside slid open, and Kim and Ron jumped out. A few seconds later, their parachutes deployed, and they slowly drifted down through the New Mexico air into Albuquerque.

"So what are we looking for, anyway?" Ron called to his girlfriend.

"Not sure!" she yelled back.

"Oh," Ron said. "I wish Wade could tell us."

"No duh, Ron!" Kim said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, I'm just saying!" Ron said.

"I know. I miss him too," Kim said.

 _I'm worried about him_ , she thought to herself.

Kim and Ron landed on the edge of a college campus. Not many people were around, since it was Thanksgiving night.

"Geez, where do we start?" Kim said to herself.

"I dunno," Ron said. "I mean, green and red? Are we supposed to look for traffic lights?"

Kim chewed her lower lip. "Green and red..." she muttered to herself. Suddenly, her eyes widened.

"Ron! It's Christmas!" she exclaimed.

"What? K.P., we just had Thanksgiving dinner and the Falcons are playing the Colts, I don't think it's Christmas at all!" Ron said.

"No, Ron," Kim said. "I mean, green and red are Christmas colors. It's a clue about Christmas!"

"Oh!" Ron said, eyes lighting up. "So wait. Does that mean that we can't rescue Wade for another month?"

"No, Ron, it means...I don't know," Kim admitted. "Maybe it's not Christmas after all."

"Yeah," Ron said. "Unless you're talking about the shopping season."

Kim jolted.

"Ron, you're exactly right," she said. "We have to get to the mall."

"I am? Booyah!" Ron exclaimed. "Wait. What am I right about?"

"Just come on!" Kim said, grabbing her boyfriend's hand and dragging him behind her.

* * *

 **Coronado Center  
** **Albuquerque, New Mexico**

The mall was a madhouse as employees rushed around, working to get everything ready for Black Friday.

"I'd love to help you, but I don't know anything about a kidnapping," the mall manager told the two college students. "Plus, it's Black Friday. There's no way we can shut down the mall now! It's the day that most of the stores in here finally pull a profit!"

"Can we at least investigate?" Kim asked. "There's probably something important here. I hope."

The manager shrugged. "Sure, go ahead. Just don't take anything. And if you try to get in early for a good deal, you're going to get banned from here forever."

"I promise," Kim said.

"Wait," Ron said. "Does that include getting things from Bueno Nacho?"

The manager cast him a disturbed look.

"Son, the food court doesn't _do_ Black Friday," he said. "And besides, we don't even have any of that fake glop they try to pass off as Mexican food. We have _real_ Mexican cuisine around these parts."

"Fake glop?" Ron sputtered.

"Uh, thanks, we won't touch anything!" Kim said, quickly pulling her boyfriend away.

Ron fumed as Kim led him into the main part of the mall. "Can you believe that guy? Bueno Nacho, not real Mexican! Hah! Of course not, it's Tex-Mex! Tex-Mex, K.P.!"

"Listen, Ron, can you have your little fast food freakout later?" she asked. "I still don't know what I'm looking for. We're basically flying blind here."

"Yeah," Ron admitted. "It'd take a lot of luck for us to find something here."

A monster truck crashed through the roof and skidded to a halt beside the mall fountain. Shego leaped out of the passenger side.

"Huh," Kim said. "Looks like something found us."

"Alright, people!" Shego said loudly. "Give us what we're looking for, and we'll be out of your hair and you can deal with the horror that is Black Friday. Otherwise..." She lit up her hands. "Well, let's just say it'll be fun. For me."

The mall mostly ignored her. The only one who didn't was Kim, who ran towards Shego. Motor Ed stuck his head out of the driver's side window.

"Whoa, Green, look out!" he called to her.

"What?" Shego said, turning to face him. "What are you talking about?"

Shego's back was now turned to Kim. She put on a burst of speed.

"Green, Red!" Motor Ed said frantically.

"Huh?" Shego said, confused.

Kim launched herself into the air and came down with a flying kick directly to the middle of Shego's spine. Shego was knocked forward by the blow and sprawled onto the mall floor. Shego quickly rolled over and got back to her feet.

"I don't know what you're doing here, but you're going down," Kim told the villain.

"Oh yeah, princess?" Shego said. She lit up her hands. "I don't think so."

Shego launched herself at Kim. Kim fought back, parrying Shego's blows and attempting some strikes of her own. The two battled their way across the mall floor.

"Tell us where Drakken is, princess!" Shego declared angrily.

Kim froze for a millisecond, giving Shego the opportunity to kick her in the face, sending her flying. Kim leapt to her feet.

"Give us back Wade!" she said angrily.

"What?" Shego said, confused. She shook her head to clear it and charged at Kim.

"You know, Wade! You took him!" Kim said angrily as the two girls began clawing at each other again.

"No, we didn't, Red!" Motor Ed called to them. "You took my cousin, and we want him back! Seriously."

Shego attempted to blast Kim. Kim dodged, but the fountain in the center of the mall did not. It exploded, revealing an underground passageway. Kim and Shego stopped fighting.

"Whoa," Motor Ed said, leaping out of the monster truck. "Seriously, what is that? Seriously."

"It looks like some underground passage," Shego said. "But why would someone build a secret tunnel into a mall?"

A familiar beeping tone came from Kim's pocket. Kim picked up the Kimmunicator and turned it on. A by-now familiar gnarled face stared out at them.

"You!" Shego exclaimed.

"Wait, you know this guy?" Ron said, surprised. "Why do you know this guy?"

The old man laughed gently. "I'm afraid I must confess that my associates and I needed both Mr. Load and Mr. Lipsky."

"Wait, what the heck did you need Drakken for?" Shego asked, confused.

"Yeah, Wade's so much better than Drakken!" Ron added.

"Nuh-uh, my cuz is seriously amazing! Seriously!" Motor Ed said.

"Oh, yeah, like the way he's got flower petals growing around his head?" Ron asked. "Totally impressed by that."

"Okay yeah, but he's blood, dude! Seriously!" Motor Ed said. "Don't be like that! Seriously!"

"Okay, seriously?" Kim asked.

"Seriously," Motor Ed said.

"No, seriously," Kim said.

"Seriously," Motor Ed added.

"Yeah, seriously," Ron said.

"ENOUGH!" Shego yelled, lighting up her hands. She pointed at the man on the screen. "YOU. Tell us where Drakken is. NOW."

The old man chuckled again. "You'll need to work together to find him."

"Hey, Drakken's totally our enemy!" Ron said. "I think."

"Ron's right," Kim added. "Although he hasn't been doing much evil ever since we defeated those aliens together..."

"Whatever, I'm not a fan of Kimmie here," Shego said.

"Suit yourselves," the old man said. "But if you want to see your friends..."

The old man let the threat hang in the air, half-spoken.

"Look, guys, we seriously need to find my cousin," Motor Ed said. "He could be in seriously big trouble! Seriously!"

Nobody spoke for a few seconds. Then Kim gave up, sighed, and rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Lemme guess, into the creepy tunnel?" she asked the old man.

"Correct. And let me give you one last clue: Four worlds Tawa created, and four shall walk alone. Though on this path you may be fated, your will shall be your own." The old man finished speaking and took a deep breath. "You will find what you are looking for at the end of the line. Take it with you."

The old man cut the connection. Kim, Shego, Motor Ed, and Ron looked at each other and then entered the underground tunnel.


	3. Walk Like a Navajo

**Underneath Coronado Center  
** **Albuquerque, New Mexico**

The underground tunnel was decorated with hieroglyphs. They weren't Egyptian in style, but that was of no concern to Ron, who was casting his flashlight all around the cavern, looking for clues.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon," he muttered under his breath. "There's gotta be a pattern. K.P.!" he suddenly called. "Do you see anything suspicious?"

"Not really, Ron," she called back. "You?"

"I don't know what I'm looking for!" he said.

"Me neither! Usually these things just reveal themselves!"

Suddenly, the path split. There were three doorways in front of them, each one containing a separate path.

"A maze. Great. Just when I thought this day couldn't get any worse," Shego said.

"I say we use the right-hand rule," Kim said. "Test the right side, and keep going right from there."

"Are you kidding me? Everybody does that!" Shego scoffed. "We should use the _left_ -hand rule. Nobody anticipates that."

"Ron?" Kim asked.

"I'm partial to the middle, myself," Ron said nervously. "But, uh–"

"Whoa. Hold on, dude. Seriously," Motor Ed said. "Shine that light over the doors."

"What?" Ron asked, confused.

"Seriously, shine it over the doors, dude! Seriously," Motor Ed said.

Ron did as requested and let the flashlight rest above each door for a few seconds.

"Okay, like, I think I know what they say," Motor Ed said.

"Oh you have _got_ to be kidding me," Shego groused.

"No, seriously. I like, minored in Pre-Colombian Cultures in college. Seriously," Motor Ed said.

"Wait, what? You? Pre-Colombian Cultures?" Shego asked, confused.

"Lots of totally hot babes in those classes. Seriously," Motor Ed said.

Shego growled. "Whatever. Do these pictures say anything?"

"Uh, certain death, certain doom, and free ice cream," Motor Ed said.

"I'm into ice cream!" Ron said happily. He started to saunter down the third path. Kim stopped him.

"It's a trap, Ron," she said.

"I dunno, free ice cream sounds pretty rocking to me," Motor Ed said. "Seriously."

"Boys! Pay attention!" Shego said. "We have a choice of certain death or certain doom. Choose one!"

"I'll take death, it's more wicked," Motor Ed said.

"Death sounds good to me," Kim added.

"Um, hello, _free ice cream_!" Ron complained.

"Death it is," Shego said, ignoring him. The group headed down the left-hand path.

* * *

 **Underneath Coronado Center  
Albuquerque, New Mexico**

The pathway they chose was filled with cobwebs. Not only this, but the creators of these webs were everywhere. As they walked along the path, spiders skittered on the walls, floor and ceiling all around them. While Shego was completely stoic in the face of the arachnids, Kim was slightly unnerved, Motor Ed was twitchy, and Ron was on the verge of a full-blown mental breakdown.

"It's okay, spiders are nice," he muttered to himself. "They won't hurt me. Just don't let them know I'm here. Just don't let them..."

Suddenly, Ron's eyes widened.

"MOTOR ED! DUDE!" he yelled. "THERE'S A GIANT SPIDER ON YOUR NECK!"

"What? Where!" Motor Ed shrieked. He screamed like a little girl and began slapping at himself frantically, propelling himself forward through the tunnel in a disturbing rhythmless dance. He knocked over a tripwire, and arrows shot out of the wall at him. Somehow, none of them struck him, but he proceeded to open a pit of spikes that he somehow managed to avoid being impaled on by leaping from peak to peak, still focused on the possibility that a spider might be on him. Once he got to the other side of the pit, he continued to slap at himself, ignoring the rumbling sound all around him as rocks fell from the ceiling. When he finally stopped slapping at himself, the traps had stopped their efforts. He looked around.

"Hey! There's a bowl over here!" he called back to the rest of the group. "Do you think it's important?"

"Don't touch it!" Kim yelled back.

"Touch it? Seriously?" he called. "If you say so!"

"No!" Kim yelled, but it was too late. Motor Ed reached for the bowl. Thinking quickly, Kim got to work, acrobatically leaping through the traps and over the spikes. She landed behind the mullet-headed villain just as he picked up the bowl.

The pedestal the bowl was on tipped forward and landed on his foot.

"OW!" Motor Ed yelped. "SERIOUSLY!"

Motor Ed hopped backward and toppled toward the ground. Kim stuck her arms out and caught him.

"Hey, thanks, Red," he said. Kim rolled her eyes.

"There's going to be another death trap," Ron muttered. "There's always death traps in these things. Probably a giant boulder."

No giant boulder appeared to crush them. Instead, the floor over the pit of spikes swung back into place.

"Look, let's just get out of here," Shego said.

Kim and Motor Ed made their way back to Ron and Shego, and the group headed back toward the entrance, Ron bringing up the rear. As they walked, he shined his flashlight on Motor Ed's bowl.

"You know what's seriously weird about this?" Motor Ed said, examining his bowl. "This is Aztec writing. Seriously."

"Seriously?" Ron asked.

"Seriously," Motor Ed confirmed. "The people who lived in New Mexico were neither Aztecs nor had a writing system. This is like, a seriously misplaced relic. Seriously."

"Well–wait," Ron said. "Are you telling me there's writing in that bowl?"

"Seriously?" Motor Ed asked. "Yeah, I guess, but this is like a work of art! Seriously."

"What's it say?" Ron asked.

"It says something about Tenochtitlan," Motor Ed said.

"Sorry, where?" Kim asked. Motor Ed looked up, surprised.

"Whoa, Red!" he said. "When were you part of this conversation? Seriously."

"Seriously, where's Tenochtitlan?" Kim asked.

Motor Ed shrugged. "It's where modern-day Mexico City was built. Seriously."

The group exited the chasm.

"Did you say Mexico City?" Kim asked.

Shego rolled her eyes, leapt into the driver's seat, and hotwired the monster truck. She revved the engine.

"Let's go, people!" she called. "We've got stuff to do in Mexico!"

"Hey, babes don't drive! Dudes drive!" Motor Ed complained.

Shego cast a sour look at Motor Ed and blasted him. While Motor Ed sat up and shook off the blow, Kim and Ron climbed into the backseat and put on their seat belts. Giving up, Motor Ed climbed into the passenger seat just as the mall manager ran up to the hole. Shego stomped on the gas, and they drove away.

"Hey, wait!" the manager called after them. "Who's gonna pay for all this? Who's gonna clean up this mess? You can't leave us like this on Black Friday! KIM POSSIBLE! YOU ARE BANNED FROM CORONADO CENTER!"


	4. They Speak Spanish Here

**Mexico City, Mexico**

"Come on, move already!" Shego barked at the Mexico City traffic. She groaned. "I can't believe we drove all night only to get caught in rush hour!"

"Well maybe if you had let me drive..." Motor Ed grumbled from the passenger seat.

"Shut it," Shego snapped. "You're the freaking Indian genius–"

" _Pre-Colombian Civilizations_ genius. Seriously," Motor Ed said.

Shego's face puckered. "You know where we're supposed to be going. Tell me where it is."

"Uh, sorry, babe, I don't," Motor Ed said. "Seriously. It just said we were supposed to go to Tenochtitlan. That's all."

Shego closed her eyes tightly as they sat in traffic and sat perfectly still.

"If somebody doesn't tell me where we're headed, I will eviscerate each and every one of you," she said calmly.

Ron gulped and put his hands over his crotch.

"Well, why don't we go for the biggest temple?" Kim suggested. "That might be a good starting point."

Shego visibly relaxed slightly.

"We can't. Seriously," Motor Ed said. "It was destroyed by the conquistadors in order to build Mexico City. Seriously."

Shego tensed again. "Are you telling me that we came all this way in order to search for a temple that no longer exists because it was _razed to the ground in order to build this_ POORLY DESIGNED, OVERTRAFFICKED, SMOG-FILLED CITY WITH _UNREADABLE SIGNS?_ "

A silence settled over the truck.

"They're not unreadable," Kim finally said. "Just in Spanish. And I can read Spanish."

"You know, that's great, princess," Shego said. "Uh-huh. But we STILL DON'T KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING!"

Motor Ed scoffed. "Told you babes don't drive."

Shego raised her hand and arced a burst of green energy into the side of Motor Ed's head.

"Well, there's got to be somewhere we can start," Kim suggested. "Maybe there were some temples that got left alone?"

Motor Ed lifted himself up, holding his head. "Seriously? I don't think so. Tenochtitlan was razed to the ground in order to build Mexico City."

Shego growled and punched the steering wheel.

"Well are there at least some museums?" Kim asked.

Ron groaned. "A museum? KP, don't you remember how boring museums are?"

Kim rolled her eyes. "It's for Wade, Ron. Besides, we're not going to have to deal with Mister Barkin dictating our every move."

"Oh, yeah!" Motor Ed said enthusiastically. "Seriously, the museum of the Templo Mayor is fantastic. Seriously."

"We should start there," Kim said. "Even if we don't find what we're looking for, we'll probably get other ideas for where to search."

* * *

 **Museum of the Templo Mayor  
Mexico City, Mexico**

The group entered the museum together. None of them looked particularly happy, least of all Shego.

"I can't believe you made me drive around looking for parking!" she snarled at Kim. "Fifteen minutes! We could have just parked on top of someone's car, but no, we have to use an empty parking spot! What's the point of a monster truck if you don't use it to run over cars?"

"Seriously," Motor Ed agreed.

"You can't just destroy personal property!" Kim said angrily. "And I'm sorry if I didn't manage to get us free tickets. I've never _been here_ before, nobody's going to do me any favors."

"Who needs favors?" Shego asked. "I got all the motivation anybody ever needs right here!" She held up her glowing hands.

"Okay!" Ron said nervously. "Look, we're here, we paid for our tickets, let's figure out what we need to do and get out."

"Well, it won't be in the main collection," Motor Ed said. "Seriously. All the cool stuff is in the basement."

"And how do you know that?" Kim asked sharply.

Motor Ed shrugged. "Have you never, like, taken a class with a field trip to a museum? They always keep the cool stuff in the basement."

* * *

 **Basement of the Museum of the Templo Mayor  
** **Mexico City, Mexico**

The basement of the museum was crowded and cramped with artifacts from the fallen city. The group wandered through the tightly crammed shelves slowly.

"So, Motor Ed," Kim finally said, "what should we be looking for?"

"Seriously?" Motor Ed asked. "There weren't many details on the bowl. Just that something was hidden in Tenochtitlan. Seriously."

"Like, secret passageway hidden?" Kim asked.

"Beats me," Motor Ed said. "Seriously."

Shego groaned. "Well that's just great! We drive down to Mexico City, spend forever in traffic, have to pay for parking and buy tickets to this place, wander into this hoarder's treasure trove, and now we may not even be in the right place!"

"Hey, let's calm down," Ron said. "I'm sure we'll stumble upon something."

Rufus poked his head up from Ron's pocket and squeaked enthusiastically.

"Oh, great!" Shego said angrily. "Now we just wander around randomly until we come across something, but we don't know what it is, or what we're supposed to do with it, but somehow it'll lead us to Dr. D, if it doesn't lead us on _yet another_ wild goose chase! Fantastic! I just love this!"

Shego punched the nearby wall of the basement angrily. It crumbled, revealing a secret passageway.


	5. Into the Depths

**Basement of the Museum of the Templo Mayor  
Mexico City, Mexico**

Shego stared into the hall she'd uncovered and groaned. "Another secret passage. Of course. Just what I wanted to do today, go down yet another hidden underground tunnel!"

"Hey, at least it's progress," Ron offered.

"I'm _sick_ of progress!" Shego complained. She shut her eyes and rested her fingers on her forehead. "Fine. This is a museum, right?"

"One of the best in the world!" Motor Ed proclaimed. "Seriously."

"Good." Shego grinned wickedly. "They're bound to have something valuable down here. And I'm taking it."

"No way, Shego," Kim said. "You're not taking anything on my watch."

Shego smirked and leaned toward her. "Oh really, princess? Gonna keep an eye on me the whole time? Because that'll make it pretty hard for you to track down your tech nerd."

Kim scowled. "You're still not stealing anything."

"Yeah, babe," Motor Ed said. "Seriously. Stealing from museums dedicated to ancient cultures is off-limits. Their civilization was destroyed once. They deserve to be remembered. Seriously."

"Oh, so what, you and princess are going to make sure I don't steal anything?" Shego asked, laughing. Neither Kim nor Motor Ed joined her, and slowly she stopped.

"You're serious," Shego said flatly.

"Seriously, babe," Motor Ed said. "Seriously."

Shego growled. "Fine. Let's just find out what's at the end of this tunnel and get out of here."

The group entered the tunnel and stood at the entrance. In front of them, the tunnel swiftly grew dark.

"Uh, how long is this thing, anyway?" Ron asked.

"Only one way to find out," Kim said. She took out her Kimmunicator and turned it to flashlight mode. Carefully, the group walked down the tunnel. Nothing happened until they hit a door. Shego snarled and lashed out, easily cutting through the door. It fell apart in front of them, revealing a large excavation. Unlike the basement room, this one was rough and dirty, with various symbols carved into the clay walls.

"Okay, mister Aztec minor, what's this say?" Shego asked.

"Seriously? It was Pre-Colombian Civilizations!" Motor Ed said. "Seriously!"

"Wow, touchy," Shego said. "Anyway, what's all this stuff say?"

Motor Ed shrugged. "Seriously? Gimme a minute."

* * *

 **Underground  
Mexico City, Mexico**

"So, most of this means nothing," Motor Ed said. The rest of the group looked up. "At least, nothing we'd care about. Seriously. But there's a part that points to a secret passageway."

Shego groaned. "Again?"

"Yeah, but it's at the part we came in by, so no dice there," Motor Ed said. "And it mentions chihuahuas a lot, but I might be mixing things up. Seriously."

Kim sat up. "Wait. Chihuahuas?"

"Yeah, something about them knowing the way," Motor Ed said. "Seriously."

Kim smiled. "I think I have an idea. Rufus?"

"No way KP, those things freak Rufus out," Ron said. Rufus nodded.

"No, I mean, Rufus is about the size of a chihuahua. Maybe he can find what we're looking for," she said.

Rufus's eyes lit up, and he scrambled out of Ron's pocket. Once on the ground, he surveyed the world around him and instantly set off for the wall on the left. He squeezed through a crack and into a musty area. There, he sniffed around before he walked around a specific stone a few times and then sat down directly on it. Part of the wall slid upwards, revealing a brand new room. The rest of the group walked in and joined the naked mole rat. Their jaws dropped. The room was decorated with ornate designs made from precious metals and jewels.

"Heavy," Motor Ed breathed.

Kim shook her head. "Alright. Let's find what we're looking for and get out."

"Wait a minute, red," Motor Ed said. "You aren't–you aren't seriously planning to be a grave robber, are you?"

"Yeah, KP," Ron said. "I hate to back up one of our enemies, but last time we did that we ended up with Monkey Fist."

Kim scowled. "I learned my lesson, _Ron_. And besides, you also got mystical monkey powers from that."

"I'm with Kimmie," Shego said brightly. "Grave robbery is always fun."

Kim's lips formed a hard line. "Look, it has to be done. For Wade."

"For Wade," Ron echoed.

"For Drakken," Shego said.

"For my cuz," Motor Ed said. "Seriously."

"Now then," Kim said. "If I was a clue, what would I be?"

"Why don't we ask the expert?" Shego suggested sarcastically. "Oh wait, no, he has no idea what it would be."

"Oh yeah?" Motor Ed asked. "Gimme a minute."

Motor Ed began scanning the room quickly. He soon stopped and stared at a statue.

"There," he said. "That art style isn't Aztec. Seriously. It's Mayan."

"Alright," Shego said, cracking her knuckles. "I guess it's time to finally take something from this place."

Shego walked over to the statue calmly and reached for it.

"Stop!" a voice yelled from the doorway.


	6. All I Need

**Underground  
Mexico City, Mexico**

The quintet spun around to face the new arrival. It was a tall man wearing a t-shirt and jeans. He was flanked by several other men and women.

"Do you know what you are doing?" the man asked angrily.

Shego smirked. "Oh, I got a pretty good idea."

Shego lit up her hands and leaped at the man. The man pulled out a staff and parried her blows. Soon the two were locked in close combat, with Shego punching and kicking rapidly and the man doing everything he could to hold her off with his staff. When a jab by Shego whizzed past his right ear and overextended her, the man poked her in the stomach with the staff roughly, sending her flying back. Shego growled and launched herself at the man again. As they fought, the man's compatriots spread out into the room.

"Um, KP?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, Ron?" Kim said, warily eying the new arrivals.

"I don't think these guys are happy with us!" he said.

"Seriously?" Motor Ed said. "They're obviously remnants of the Aztec population, here to guard one of the few remnants of their civilization from would-be grave robbers."

The tall man dropped his guard for a split-second and stared at Motor Ed, shocked. This was just enough of an opening for Shego to deliver a strong punch to his nose, sending him sprawling backwards. Several of his friends reacted to this by charging her, and Shego soon found herself being pummeled with sticks. Although she was able to knock most of them away, some blows still landed. Shego growled as she tried to fend off the mob and shrieked as she received a particularly sharp blow to the back of her knee. Upon seeing this, Kim leaped into the fray and began trying to fight them off. She was struck as well but managed to start battling some of them back and gave Shego cover to climb upright again and begin fighting.

"So, uh, seriously, are you gonna like help your girlfriend?" Motor Ed asked Ron.

"Um, I'm more the 'distraction' or the 'guy sneaking around in the background' type," Ron said. "Fighting off a bunch of bad guys isn't really my style."

"Seriously?" Motor Ed asked. "Because I thought you were fighting by her side to stop the alien invasion."

"Okay, yes, but I don't know how much help I'd be here," Ron pointed out. "Besides, you're buff. How come you aren't jumping in?"

Motor Ed chuckled. "Seriously. Why would I jump in? I'm getting to watch hot chicks fight. Seriously."

"Dude, that's not right," Ron said. His eyes widened. "Dude, that's my girlfriend!"

"Dude, your girlfriend's in trouble," Motor Ed said. "Seriously."

"KP I'm coming!" Ron yelled and dove into the fray. He swiftly found himself getting clobbered. "Ow! Ow! Owowow! Sticks! Hurt! Ow!"

"Ron!" Kim yelped, lunging towards him. A staff slammed into her temple, and she hit the ground hard.

"Whoa! Stop!" Ron yelled. "Can't we all just get along?"

"We will never get along with you, grave robbers!" the tall man declared. "Attack the big one!"

"Whoa! Whoa! Seriously!" Motor Ed yelped, raising his hands. "Not into the whole fighting indigenous peoples thing, we just need to get my cuz back! Seriously! Why is this thing so important to you, anyway? It's Mayan in origin! Seriously!"

"Without it, the wrath of the gods will strike Tenochitlan!" the tall man announced. "No amount of money is worth the horror that would be released upon the world!"

"We're not in it for the money!" Ron choked out. "We just want to use it to save our friends!"

"Please!" Kim added. "They've been kidnapped!"

The tall man shook his head. "I'm sorry. But they are nothing compared to the world."

"Nothing?" Shego roared. She threw off her attackers. "Drakken _saved_ the world! Without him, you'd all be corpses or alien slaves! Now he's missing, and you're telling me that you won't help us because of some dumb myth?" She punched her way through several attackers. "I don't care what gods you believe in or what us taking this statue will do. _We_ are _taking_ the statue and _saving_ Drakken, and I don't care _what_ you say about it because we are getting my boyfriend back _now_!" She threw several punches at the tall man, driving him back towards a wall. "Do! You! Un! Der! Stand! Me!"

"Whoa, hold up, hold up!" Ron said. "I think I just got an idea."

Shego continued to throw punches at the tall man, but Ron's captors let him get to his feet.

"See, we don't actually need the statue," Ron continued. "We just need to read it so we can figure out where to find Wade. And Drakken. And maybe the next clue. Is that cool with all of you?"

The guardians turned to each other and had a conversation in Spanish. Eventually, one of them turned back to Ron and nodded.

"Cool. Motor Ed?" Ron asked.

"Uh, sorry dude, I can't read Mayan glyphs," Motor Ed said. "Seriously."

"What, seriously?" Ron asked, shocked.

"Seriously," Motor Ed confirmed.

"Great," Shego groaned. "Now what do we do?"

* * *

 **Federal Highway 150  
Puebla**

"Thanks so much for giving us a ride, Señor Vasquez!" Kim told the burly truck driver.

"Hey, no problemo, señorita!" Señor Vasquez replied. "I'm always happy to help. Especially since you helped me with that propane delivery."

"No big!" Kim said. "We just needed to make sure the tanks were properly labeled. Who knows how those cream cheese vats got mixed up with the propane?"

"Yeah, it could have been muy feo," Señor Vasquez agreed. "If you don't mind me asking, why are you headed to Chichen Itza anyway?"

"Oh, we're–"

"We're on vacation," Shego interrupted. "We thought we'd look at some historical sites." She grabbed Kim and whispered in her ear. "Don't tell him. We don't know who's with the kidnappers."

Kim cast her a skeptical look but kept her mouth shut.


	7. By the Creek

**Chichen Itza, Yucatán  
**

The quintet hopped out of the truck at the entrance to Chichen Itza. They gazed up at the pyramids.

"So, where do we go?" Shego asked Motor Ed.

Motor Ed shrugged. "Big pyramid? It worked for us last time."

"Oh, what, no big fancy name to remind us you majored in Pre-Colombian Civilizations?" Shego snarked.

"Seriously? It's called the Templo Mayor," Motor Ed said. "But that's just Spanish for 'Main Temple.' Seriously. It doesn't really have some incredibly special name, it's just like, the big pyramid. Seriously."

"Okay, great, so we're heading to the giant pyramid, yay," Ron said. "Could we hurry this up? I want to stumble onto our next clue or Wade or Drakken or whatever ASAP."

"We're not just going to stumble onto something, Ron," Kim said.

"KP, it's what we've been doing!" Ron said. "Shego opened a secret passageway in the mall by accident, then opened a secret passageway in the basement of that museum, and..." He stopped. "Hey, Shego, why don't you lead us?"

"Ron!" Kim said angrily.

"But KP!" Ron protested.

Kim sighed. "You're right. Unfortunately. Shego has been pretty helpful, even if only by accident."

"Watch and learn, princess," Shego said. Kim grit her teeth. "With me at the helm, we'll be out of here in no time."

"Yeah, seriously," Motor Ed said. "Watch and learn, Red."

Shego grinned evilly.

"Oh, so there you are!" a loud voice said, ripping through the air. "You must be our four missing tourists! Come along, please!"

The group turned and spotted a large tour group. At the head of the group was a skinny woman with a surprisingly loud voice.

"Uh, yeah, no, we're not part of your tour group," Shego said, faking sweetness. "We're just going to wander around here–"

"Oh, don't be silly!" the woman said. "You're not allowed to wander the grounds alone. It's too likely you'll disturb the site. Now come along."

"Yes! Of course!" Kim said quickly. "We'll be there in a second." She grabbed the others and drew them close. "Look, if we want to get in, we'll have to go on this tour. Now suck it up and let's pretend to be part of the tour, okay?"

"You got it, KP!" Ron said happily. Rufus poked out of his pocket, nodding and smiling, and gave a thumbs-up.

"Aw, can't we skip the tour?" Motor Ed wheedled. "Seriously. Mayans are like, the least interesting major Pre-Colombian civilization. Seriously."

"Yeah, I'm with musclehead on this one," Shego said. "This tour sounds totally lame, and more importantly, totally not going to help us find Drakken."

"Look, we have to take the tour if we want to explore this place," Kim said. "We'll just slip out once she's distracted, okay?"

"Hey, who's leading this group, me or you, princess?" Shego asked sharply. "I say we do what we want."

"Uh, I changed my mind, Kim should lead us," Ron said.

"WHAT?" Shego spat angrily, rounding on him with palms ablaze.

"Ahem!" the woman's voice called. "We're about to get started, so if you four could please join the group?"

The four stared at each other. Ron was the first one to break away, turning and walking calmly towards the rest of the tour group. Kim followed him a few seconds later, and Motor Ed shrugged and followed her away. Shego scowled, unlit her hands, and joined the tour.

"Listen," she hissed to Kim, "as soon as there's a way out of here, we are _taking it_ , you understand me?"

Kim rolled her eyes and nodded.

* * *

 **Chichen Itza, Yucatán**

"...and that's when the king decided not to say another word about the poaching, seeing as the baked potatoes were indeed quite delicious. At that point..."

The tour guide droned on as she led her tour group through Chichen Itza. Each member of the group was reacting to the tour differently. Ron, as usual, was incredibly bored. Rufus had bedded down to sleep in Ron's pocket. Kim's eyes were alert as she kept them fixed on the tour guide, occasionally glancing around to see if there was a viable escape route. Motor Ed was also fixated on the tour guide, but for a different reason: he was hearing all the falsehoods in her history and was keeping track mentally of whether any accurate history was actually being portrayed. Shego, meanwhile, looked just as bored as Ron and was constantly looking around for someplace to escape to. Unfortunately for them, the grounds were clear of clutter and there were no ruins to hide behind anywhere near the path they were on.

"...and she said 'Let's do it! The room's already paid for!' So the chef and the gardener proceeded to..."

"Okay, Kimmie, you got us into this mess," Shego muttered. "Now what are you going to do to get us out of it?"

"What mess?" Kim asked, annoyed. "We take the tour, we figure out where we're supposed to find everything. It's like Ron said, we've just stumbled into clues. Well let's get stumbling."

Shego sighed. "You're right."

A few seconds later, Shego stuck her leg out in front of Kim. Kim tripped over it and fell forward, landing on the ground awkwardly. Shego snorted but quickly rearranged her face into the picture of innocence. Kim quickly got up and moved back to Shego's side, and the few tourists who had noticed her fall put their attention back on the tour guide.

"...the priest said, 'Read the card, you fool!' Well, as you can guess, those were some disgusting flowers, but..."

"You did that on purpose," Kim said softly but angrily.

"What, me?" Shego said, feigning innocence. "I would never! Kimmie, seriously, why would I trip you? I mean, sure, we are enemies. And you were talking about how you just needed to stumble. And yes, your indignant look is hilarious. But no, princess, I didn't stick my leg out to trip you. Even if it would have been hysterical." She smirked. "You believe me, don't you?"

Kim scowled.

* * *

 **Chichen Itza, Yucatán**

"Not a single fact right," Motor Ed grumbled to himself. "Seriously. Not a single correct fact."

"...well, the monkey couldn't write prescriptions, you see," the tour guide continued. "But, since the Mayans were resourceful, they grabbed the bride-to-be..."

Motor Ed grimaced. Not only was his cousin missing, but he was on an endless tour led by a woman that had no grasp of Mayan history or culture. Even though he'd never been interested in the Mayans the way he was interested in the Incans, Aztecs, or Navajo, he was rather annoyed by the fact that his comparatively weak grasp of the Mayan world was still strong enough that he could tell she was butchering every anecdote in Mayan history–when she stuck to the facts instead of making up her own stories, that is. He was fairly certain that the one about the roosters and the talking snake was a complete fabrication.

"...of course, they thought the showtune was a bit over the top, and the performers were summarily executed. Consequently, the arm-wrestling match between..."

Motor Ed grit his teeth. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. Annoyed, he decided that it was time to do something, and hung back as the group moved on, pretending to examine a relic. It seemed his gambit would be successful until he heard the annoying tones of the tour guide calling him.

"Sir!" she yelled. "Sir! You have to stay with the tour!"

Motor Ed glanced around. He could make a run for it, of course, but he wasn't the most fleet of foot. He usually relied on vehicles to get away; he was a great driver and mechanic. Still, making a run for it might be better than suffering through the rest of the tour.

"Sir, get over here! Now! Sir!" the woman yelled at him.

Annoyed, Motor Ed began walking back to the tour. Suddenly, Ron ran past him.

"Woop, look at me, running through a historical site!" Ron yelled. "Wow, sure hope I don't touch anything!"

The tour guide gave chase. "All of you, stay put!" she yelled at them. "Sir! Security! Sir!"

Motor Ed watched, impressed, as Ron deftly avoided the tour guide and the security personnel who were attracted by her calls. He wandered back to Kim and Shego.

"Big pyramid?" he asked.

"Big pyramid," Kim confirmed.


	8. I Just Don't Know

**Chichen Itza, Yucatán**

Ron spun away from a burly man wearing a vest that said Seguridad. He almost flew into the arms of another man, but quickly leapt back and turned to the side. He quickly outran the duo, but another man stepped in front of him, and it was only his quick reflexes honed by years of supervillain stopping that allowed him to sidestep the security officer.

Ron ran randomly through the historical site, doing his best to stay away from the big pyramid. He figured he had to keep this up for about ten minutes longer; even though the tour had gotten close to the biggest pyramid, it would probably take time for Kim to find whatever she needed to find inside. That is, if they were even on the right track. Although the secret passages had indicated that they were headed in the right direction, without a translation of what was on the Mayan vase they were basically taking a shot in the dark by coming to Chichen Itza.

Ron's train of thought was suddenly interrupted when a pair of metal wires arced past his rear end. Ron screeched, realizing that the security forces had tazers, and began sprinting faster. He panted as he wound his way through the park, attracting more security as he ran.

* * *

 **El Castillo  
Chichen Itza, Yucatán**

While the rest of the tour was distracted by the chase scene, and subsequently by Ron's amazing agility, three members took the opportunity to sneak away and ascend the stairs of El Castillo. They slipped inside without anybody noticing, especially the security personnel, who were completely focused on capturing Ron. Once inside, they slipped through the door and plastered themselves against a wall.

"So, we're here," Shego said after a bit. "What do we do now?"

"Well, I have an idea," Kim said, smiling. "Walk with me, Shego."

Shego cast her a sour look. "No way, princess. I know what you're planning."

"Aw, c'mon," Kim said plaintively.

"No way, Kimmie!" Shego said. Kim pouted at her. "What, are you–are you doing a puppy-dog pout? On me? I'm not going to do it just because you pout."

Kim's pout intensified.

Shego sighed. "Okay, fine, I suppose it can't–wait, no! No! I am not letting you trip me! Now put that pout away!"

Kim continued to pout at her.

"No! No, Kimmie!" Shego said. She turned her head away and squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm not gonna do it!"

Kim's pout deepened. Shego risked a glance and gave up almost immediately.

"Ugh. Fine," Shego said. She and Kim walked forward until Kim stuck her leg out to trip her. At that point, Shego nimbly hopped over it and turned to face Kim.

"So, that was a big waste of time," she said. "But hey, you got any more great ideas?"

Kim sighed, annoyed. "Whatever, Shego. Like you've got anything."

Shego let out a fake laugh. "Oh, princess doesn't have all the answers!"

"Uh, Green?" Motor Ed said.

"Wow, so surprising!" Shego said, ignoring him. "It's almost as if you're just bumbling around uselessly."

"Green?" Motor Ed said nervously.

"I mean, let's be real. It's not as if you're a new hand at this," Shego continued. "What's different this time?"

"Green!" Motor Ed yelled.

"Oh, I know!" Shego said. "You're missing your tech nerd. It's almost as if you're useless without him. How's that feel, Kimmie?"

"Seriously, Green!" Motor Ed yelled.

Shego sighed and rolled her eyes. "What is it?" she snarled grouchily.

A hand reached up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. Shego spun around and looked directly into a pair of gray eyes.

"Gah!" Shego yelped, leaping backwards and bumping into Kim. They crashed to the ground and looked up at a figure with incredibly pale skin, long white hair, and gray eyes, dressed entirely in white.

Kim gasped, but quickly recovered. "Um, hi," she said awkwardly. "Who are you?"

The albino stared down at them. "Kim Possible and Shego?" she asked.

"Yeah, that's us," Shego said, climbing to her feet. "What do you want?"

The albino didn't blink as she stared at them. "I was sent with a message. But only if you were together."

"Okay, getting a bit creepy now," Shego said.

"Shego!" Kim said. She paused. "Okay, yes, but. What's the message?"

The albino lifted her head and stared straight ahead at nothing, as though she was in a trance. She began to speak. "Through two the five of you have passed, and on the third we meet. It's true you're on the correct path, to Cuzco move your feet. At Cuzco you will find the clues, that send you to the past. Be sure to stay inside the lines, you'll find your friends at last."

Nobody said anything until Motor Ed finally piped up.

"What the heck does that mean? Seriously!"

"It's another clue, brainiac!" Shego said, rolling her eyes. She smirked. "And you know, I think I know who sent it."

"Wait, hold on," Kim said to the albino. "How'd you know we'd be here?"

The albino's face cracked into a smile. "I didn't. I've just been waiting."

"And if we didn't come?" Kim asked.

"Then you wouldn't be on the right track," she said.

"Yeah, well, the track's about to get a lot shorter!" Shego said, launching herself at the albino. The albino leaped back, covering twenty feet in a single bound and letting loose a trail of steam. Shego choked on the mist.

"Whoa!" Motor Ed yelled, excited. "Seriously! Is that steam power? Seriously!"

"Steam power?" Kim asked, confused.

The albino continued to smile as she floated backwards out of El Castillo. About a minute later, Ron ran in, panting.

"Okay, they're like a minute behind and I'm running out of energy!" he told them. "Did you find the secret passageway yet?"

"No passageway, Ron," Kim said. Ron deflated. "We got a visit from an albino who told us to head to Cusco."

"Like...the emperor?" Ron asked. "I thought that was a cartoon."

"I'll explain on the way. Let's go!"

The quartet darted out of the pyramid.


	9. Sometimes You Cry

**Somewhere over Peru**

The cargo plane flew over Peru on its way to Argentina. In the back, it carried several hundred pounds of medicine–and, unusually enough, four passengers.

"Hey, thanks for flying us over Peru!" Kim called over the sound of the engines.

The pilot waved her off. "It's the least I could do after you helped my little girl find her teddy bear! She just can't sleep without Mr. Mickelfitz!"

"No big!" Kim said back. "Just tell us when we need to parachute out!"

"No problem!" the pilot said. "According to the GPS, you're gonna wanna do that in about thirty seconds!"

Kim turned to her companions. "Okay, everyone, let's get ready to go!"

The rest of the group stood up, pulled on their parachutes, and got into a line. Kim looked at the pilot. When he gave her a thumbs-up, she heaved the door open, and they quickly jumped out–first Shego, then Motor Ed, then Ron, then Kim. They plummeted towards the ground–as did several containers of medicine that were pulled out the door by the sudden change in air pressure.

"Oh, come on!" the pilot complained. He abandoned the cockpit and threw the door shut before he could lose too much of his cargo, and then ran back to the controls.

"Next time," he muttered to himself, "I'm going to book a stopover."

* * *

 **Cusco, Peru**

The group parachuted down into a public park. As soon as they landed, they unclipped their parachutes and headed for the nearest road.

"Alright," Ron said. "I get that we got told to come here in a weird poem that some kind of freaky flying girl gave us. I don't get what else we're supposed to do."

"Gee, really?" Shego said sarcastically. "I figured we'd just wander around until Little Miss Perfect fell flat on her face again. Then you could run away like an idiot and musclehead here could say 'seriously' a lot."

"Seriously?" Motor Ed asked, annoyed. "I don't say 'seriously' all the time! Seriously!"

"Uh-huh. Yeah," Shego said. "Sure you don't. Oh and by the way, thanks Kimmie."

"What'd I do?" Kim asked, confused.

"If you hadn't distracted me with your 'oh, let me trip you,' and your stupid puppy-dog pout, I would have been able to grab that albino back there and we'd be on our way to Drakken by now!" Shego complained. "But no! You just had to distract me!"

"Hey, you tripped me first!" Kim complained. "If you wanna find Drakken, how about we work as a team, huh?"

"Because that's been working so well, hasn't it, princess!" Shego shouted. "Yeah, we've discovered absolutely nothing, except that you and Stoppable there are completely useless without your tech geek! Oh, wait, we already knew that, didn't we!"

"Yeah? Well I can still take you on in a fight!" Kim shouted back. "Name me one time you've defeated me! One time, Shego!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa–" Ron said, trying to step in.

"How about right here, right now!" Shego shouted angrily. "C'mon, princess, bring it!"

"C'mon, guys, chill!" Ron yelped. It was too late. Kim took a swing at Shego, who ducked under her arm and grabbed it, using it as leverage as she kicked at Kim's ankle. Reflexively, Kim jumped into the air, spreading her legs as she did so, and Shego used her momentum to turn the kick into a slide and pulled Kim's arm beneath her, flipping her over. Shego let go as Kim twisted in midair and landed on her feet with her back to Shego. Kim spun around and parried Shego's attempted kick to her face as Shego did a somersault towards her. The two locked into close-combat mode, parrying each other's punches and kicks.

While everyone around Kim and Shego was distracted by their fight, a scrawny young teenager snuck up behind Ron. The teenager reached out his hand and slid his long thin fingers into Ron's back pocket. Unfortunately for the would-be pickpocket, it was at this point that Shego chose to whip out her power, and a stray bolt slammed into the ground near Ron's right foot. This caused Ron to yelp and stumble backwards into the teenager, which alerted him to the pickpocket's presence. Ron looked at the teen with wide eyes.

"Hey!" he yelped. "That's mine!"

Quick as a flash, the fourteen-year-old took off. Ron chased after him, and Motor Ed joined in. Kim and Shego paused for a moment.

"Truce?" Kim asked.

Shego nodded. "Truce."

Kim and Shego took off after the thief as well.

"This isn't over, Kimmie!" Shego yelled as they ran.

* * *

 **Cusco, Peru**

The teenager was faster than he looked, sprinting through crowds of people and making turns through alleyways, busy streets, and back roads. Despite his agility and knowledge of the city, he was unable to shake off his pursuers. Kim was the one closest to him, but on her tail were Shego and Ron. Even Motor Ed was keeping up, although he lagged behind the other members of the group.

As the thief ran, he became more and more frantic. Desperately seeking to shake them off, he took every possible turn he could, taking as many back alleys and side streets as possible. When one let out onto one of the larger roads of Cusco, he darted across traffic without heed for his safety. As soon as he got to the other side, he chanced a glance back, smirking, but his eyes widened and the smile fell from his face as he saw Kim and Shego leaping from roof to roof of the cars and trailed by Ron and Motor Ed, who ran normally between the vehicles.

The thief ran towards a restaurant, ducked inside, and ran through the kitchen and out the back. Unfortunately for him, Kim and Shego saw him do this, and Shego ran through the kitchen as well. When she did this, Kim shrugged and followed, as did the two males of the group. The thief ran through the alley behind the restaurant and over to the entrance to another alley. He ducked into this one, but found himself staring down a brick wall. He skidded to a stop, but before he could turn around and try another path, Kim and Shego rounded the corner to the entrance. Upon seeing that he was trapped, they put up their dukes and slowly advanced. They were joined by Ron and Motor Ed, who ran into the alleyway seconds later and followed the females' leads.

"Alright, kid," Shego said. "Hand over the wallet, and this won't get ugly. No uglier than you already are, at least."

"Shego!" Kim reprimanded. "He's not ugly."

"Listen, princess, you do banter your way, I'll do it mine, m'kay?" Shego snapped. She turned back to the thief. "Now hand it over."

The teenager backed towards the wall. His back hit brick, and he stared at them, scared, as he pressed himself flat against the wall. Shego's lips curled into a wicked grin as she advanced, and she lit up her palms. Kim smiled viciously as well as she approached. Ron and Motor Ed brought up the rear, with Ron looking worried and Motor Ed pounding his fist into his palm.

Suddenly, a dark figure jumped down from atop the brick wall.


	10. Grande Sized Rodent

**Cusco, Peru**

The dark figure landed in a three-point stance. It slowly rose up, cape unfurling behind it, and glared. The intensity of the newcomer's gaze was evident even behind its mask.

"Atrás, putas."

Ron blinked, confused. "Uh, what? Who are you?"

"Ron, he said–" Kim stopped. "Nevermind."

"Gringos," the caped crusader muttered to himself. He raised his voice. "I am...El Chinchilla!"

Kim raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't that be _La_ Chinchilla?"

"Yes, but see, I am a man. The Chinchilla Man," El Chinchilla pointed out.

"Oh, like The Flying Ferret!" Ron exclaimed.

"I love that show!" the superhero gushed. He coughed and affected a serious tone. "But enough talking. Leave."

"No way, Chinchilla!" Shego said. "Not until we get that wallet!"

"So be it," El Chinchilla said.

In a swift motion, El Chinchilla whirled around, using his cape to guard him from prying eyes as he reached into a pocket of his utility belt. Pulling out a handful of pepper, sand, and salt, he hurled the mixture into Kim's eyes. While Kim clawed at her burning peepers, El Chinchilla ran up a wall and then jumped off, aiming a kick at Shego's face. Reacting quickly, Shego grabbed his leg and spun on her heel, sending him flying towards a wall. El Chinchilla was more agile than she expected, however, and he acrobatically flipped off the wall and landed in front of Ron. El Chinchilla transitioned his landing into a breakdance-style leg sweep, knocking Ron over, and then flipped onto his feet. When Shego lunged for him, he ducked, sending Shego flying full force at Motor Ed. They collided and crashed to the ground. El Chinchilla wasn't done yet, however, as he ran towards Ron and decked him with a powerful uppercut just as he was struggling to his feet. Ron flew through the air, fell back, and tripped over the bodies of Shego and Motor Ed, keeping them down for a few seconds more.

Kim finally wiped her eyes free of the irritants El Chinchilla had thrown in them. Unfortunately, it was at this point that El Chinchilla chose to throw down a smoke bomb. Heavy black smoke filled the area, and in the midst of it El Chinchilla grabbed the thief and hightailed it out the entrance to the alleyway. However, despite being blind, Shego wasn't deaf, and after standing up in the middle of the smokestorm, she proceeded to nail down El Chinchilla's approximate location and leap at him.

A flying kick to the back of his head sent El Chinchilla sprawling, and when the smoke cleared Shego had the thief pinned against the back wall of the restaurant. El Chinchilla reached into the pocket of his utility belt, but before he could make a move Motor Ed attempted to tackle him. Although El Chinchilla squirmed out of the tackle, this slowed him down enough for Kim to launch herself at him.

El Chinchilla ducked under the kick aimed at his head and threw a large marble at Shego. Upon contacting with her head, it exploded into a cloud of horrible-smelling gas. Shego let go of the thief and backed up, hacking and coughing. She used one of her hands to cover her nose and mouth, the other to try and wave away the odor, and neither to restrain the thief. Unfortunately for the thief, Kim's missed kick had carried her over to him, and she ripped the thief away from the stink and threw him at El Chinchilla. El Chinchilla instinctively caught the teen in midair and therefore wasn't able to block Motor Ed's right hook, the force of which sent him sprawling and caused him to drop the thief.

Motor Ed put a foot on the thief's chest to hold him down. Ron walked over and knelt down by the fourteen-year-old.

"Okay," Ron said calmly. "Could I please have my wallet?"

El Chinchilla heaved himself up and ran at them. Before he could get within striking range, a green-and-black clad leg stuck itself out in front of him. He tripped over it and fell forward. Motor Ed lifted his leg to allow El Chinchilla to land on the thief and then brought his foot back down on the cape-wearer's back, pinning both of them simultaneously.

El Chinchilla lifted his head, hatred in his eyes. "Scoundrels!" he spat. "You won't get away with this!"

"Uh, yeah, I think we just did," Shego said smugly.

"The cause of justice will always triumph in the end!" El Chinchilla declared angrily. "Vicious criminals like you will one day be brought to justice! Petty thieves who bully the poor will not be victorious; in the end, their sins will be revealed, and, and–madre de Dios, I hate trying to monologue in your language!"

"Really? Because I thought you were pretty good at it," Ron said.

El Chinchilla smiled, but swiftly turned it into a scowl. "A compliment from a rascal is no compliment at all."

"See, that's what I'm talking about!" Ron said excitedly. "You're great at this stuff!"

"Whoa, hold on," Kim said. She knelt to look at El Chinchilla. "Are you telling us that you think _we're_ the criminals here?"

"You pursue an innocent child halfway across the city to get his wallet. What other conclusion is there to draw?" El Chinchilla asked.

"Um, that's my wallet," Ron said.

El Chinchilla spat. "Nothing stolen is ever truly yours."

"No, I mean–look, could you hand it over?" Ron asked the thief. The thief did not comply.

"Allow me," Shego said. She leaned down and lit up one of her hands next to the thief's face. "You wanna see what these can do?"

The thief quickly wriggled his arms free and handed over Ron's wallet. Ron opened it up and showed it to El Chinchilla.

"Stoppable. Ron. Male. Eyes bro, hair blo–" El Chinchilla squinted as he tried to match the photo with Ron's face. He then nodded guardedly.

"I apologize," he said. "I believed that you were street thugs out to rob a boy of his hard-earned money. I was incorrect, and should never have fought you."

"It's cool, bro," Ron said. "You've got some _moves_ , I'm very impressed."

"Speak for yourself," Shego muttered. "You didn't get a snootful of stink."

"Or sand in your eyes," Kim added.

"So, should I let him up?" Motor Ed asked.

"No," Shego snarled viciously.

"Uh, yes!" Ron countered. "Dude, this guy is like a total superhero! He's awesome!"

"Ron!" Kim said angrily.

"Oh, right," Ron said. He turned back to El Chinchilla. "Dude, seriously, sand? In my girlfriend's eyes? That is wrong!"

"How else to take her out of the fight quickly?" El Chinchilla asked.

Ron stroked his chin. "You know, he's got a point."

Kim groaned.

"I'm just saying!" Ron said hastily. "You're the best fighter of all of us–"

"Hey!" Shego barked.

"–and he totally would've won if you hadn't gotten involved," Ron finished.

"HEY!" Shego barked.

"Plus, he thought we were evildoers and jumped in to stop us _how cool is that_?"

Kim smiled. "Fine, I guess it was pretty cool. Let him up."

Motor Ed obediently removed his foot, and El Chinchilla climbed to his feet. He was followed by the thief, who tried to run off as soon as he was upright; however, he didn't make it more than a step before El Chinchilla grabbed him and pinned his arms behind his back. The group exited the alleyway with the superhero still containing the thief.

At that moment, three police cars pulled up next to them with their lights flashing.


	11. Speak No Evil

**Cusco, Peru**

El Chinchilla looked over at the police cars. Officers stepped out with their guns drawn, and El Chinchilla made a quick decision. He shoved the thief towards the policemen, threw down a smoke bomb, and disappeared.

Kim came up hacking but spotted a dark cape sweeping over the side of a roof. She ran after it, acrobatically wall climbing by jumping from wall to wall until she reached the rooftop. Shego followed suit, and arrived just in time to see Kim chasing after a dark figure.

El Chinchilla ran from roof to roof before reaching the end of the block, shimmying down a drainpipe, and running into another alleyway. He disappeared into the alleyway with Kim and Shego still chasing him.

* * *

 **Cusco, Peru**

"Geez, where'd they go?" Motor Ed wondered. "Seriously. I thought we were going to, like, stick together and do something else."

Ron shrugged. "Kim probably ran after that chinchilla guy. Where's Shego?"

"How would I know where Green is?" Motor Ed asked. "Seriously! I've tried all my moves, but it's like she doesn't want anything to do with me! Seriously!"

"Oh, you noticed that?" Ron asked sarcastically.

"Yeah!" Motor Ed said. "It's seriously a downer." He stopped. "Wait a second, are you making fun of me?"

"No!" Ron quickly denied. "No, not at all. No, no...okay, yes."

Motor Ed's brow furrowed but he chose not to say anything. Ron's Kimmunicator beeped.

"Yo!" Ron said, answering quickly.

"Keep it down, Ron!" Kim hissed. "We tailed El Chinchilla to his hideout."

"Oh, cool!" Ron whispered excitedly. "But–why?"

"To see if he knows anything," Kim whispered back. "He might just be some weirdo in a cape, or he might have some idea what the heck we're supposed to do here."

"We're on our way!" Ron whispered. "Uh, where are we on our way to?"

* * *

 **7423 Paseo del Rey  
Cusco, Peru**

Tito Castillo breathed heavily as he leaned against the wall of his apartment. After a few minutes, he peeked out the window to make sure nobody had followed him. Seeing nobody, he stepped out of the way and removed his mask and cape and left them by the wall.

Tito walked into his kitchen and started to fix himself some cocoa. Once the milk was on the burner, he stepped into his bedroom and removed his costume, replacing it with jeans and a t-shirt. He then reentered the kitchen and found the milk just starting to boil. He quickly took it off the heat and poured it into a mug.

After mixing the cocoa, Tito shut his eyes and inhaled the scent. The delicious drink calmed him, and he happily walked into the living room. Upon entering, however, his sense of calm left him and he hurled the mug at the redhead standing by the window.

Kim easily ducked the hot drink and let the mug shatter against the wall. She stepped forward.

"So, this is the lair of El Chinchilla," she said calmly. "Sorry to drop by unannounced, but I didn't get your number."

"Um, uh, ¿qué?" Tito said awkwardly. He backed away from her. "¿Quién es El Chinchilla?"

"Oh, give it up," Shego said, stepping through the window and into the room. "We tailed you here, genius." She looked around the room. "So, I guess superheroing doesn't really pay the bills, eh?"

Ron followed her in. He looked around. "Wow, what happened to your wall?" he asked, looking at the cocoa dripping down it.

Tito groaned. "Who's next? The big guy? The thief? The entire Cusco police department?"

"The cops took the thief," Shego said, disinterestedly pretending to examine her fingernails. "As for the big guy, he's outside. Turns out all that weightlifting didn't make him any good at climbing."

Tito looked at them, annoyed. "What do you want, anyway?"

"Oh, you know, the usual," Shego said.

"Don't antagonize him!" Kim said. "Look, we just want your help."

"And your backstory!" Ron said excitedly. "I mean, dude! You're like, a superhero! How does that even happen?"

"Well," Tito said, "that's a very sad and disturbing story."

"Yeah, and we're on a schedule, so–" Shego started to say

"It all started on my eighth birthday," Tito said. "Before then, I was like any other Peruvian boy: happy. Carefree. Enjoying my life. But all that changed when my parents took me to see a movie for my birthday. I don't even remember what the film was. But what I do remember, is that after we left the theater, a mugger killed both of them. Over what? The little money they had left in their wallets? I decided this would not do. I trained myself, physically, mentally, in every way possible, and decided to roam the night, to gnaw away evil and criminality wherever it might rise. I decided to become a rodent...of justice."

All three of them stared at him. Kim looked sympathetic. Shego looked bored. And Ron looked annoyed.

"Dude, that is totally the story for the Fearless Ferret!" Ron said. "I wanted to know _your_ backstory!"

"How do you know that isn't my backstory?" Tito asked angrily. Ron just quirked an eyebrow. "Okay, so it isn't, but it's better than mine!"

"I'm sure that's not true," Kim said soothingly.

"I wanted to be the Fearless Ferret so I made a costume and set out to take down criminals," Tito said.

"Okay, so maybe it is," Kim said awkwardly.

Shego scoffed. "Please, princess, it's worlds better than your story. What was it again? Oh yeah, you were a babysitter and cheerleader, and then you helped out some millionaire with a Cuddle Buddy obsession. Yeah, that's interesting."

"Okay!" Ron said, stepping between them before another fight could break out. "So, we know your backstory, that answers my question. Kim, Shego, you had a different question for him."

"Right," Kim said. "Um, so, we're on a hunt for our missing friends, and the hunt has led us here. Is there anything you know that might be helpful?"

Tito shook his head. "Sorry, I don't know anything about that. Can you tell me what they look like?"

"One's blue, one's fat," Shego said. "And the kidnapper keeps giving us cryptic riddles."

"Blue and fat," Tito mused. "Yeah, sorry, I–wait. Did you say cryptic riddles?"

"Yeah, it's really frustrating," Ron said. "They like, almost make sense, but they're also not very specific. It's annoying."

Tito tapped his foot as he thought about it. Eventually, he spoke.

"That sounds a lot like José Ramos."

"Great!" Kim said. "Can you take us to him?"

Shego scoffed. "Seriously, Kimmie? José Ramos is one of the biggest figures in the South American underground. He's got fingers in pretty much every pie. How do you not know that?"

"I dunno, because I'm usually facing egotistical megalomaniacs who want to take over the world?" Kim shot back. "Not that you'd know anything about taking over the world!"

"Okay, okay," Ron said. "So, El Chinchilla, can you take us to him?"

Tito tilted his head and thought. Eventually, he shrugged.

"Your funeral, gringos."


	12. Cold When I Undressed

**1115 Calle 27  
Cusco, Peru**

El Chinchilla led them to a rundown building on a poorly-kept street.

"This is it," he said. "The lair of José Ramos."

"Whoa, do we have to walk directly into his lair?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, not to side with the coward here, but I'd prefer someplace a little more neutral," Shego said.

El Chinchilla crossed his arms. "He is José Ramos, one of the most notorious crime kingpins in all of South America, never mind Peru. You want him, you go to him, he doesn't go to you. So are you going to go to him, or what?"

The quartet shared a glance. Kim stepped forward and knocked on the door. The door swung open, revealing a set of steps leading down into darkness. The group walked down the steps and found another door, this one made of reenforced metal. El Chinchilla stepped forward and raised his fist to knock, but the door swung open, revealing a large, smoke-filled room that reeked of alcohol.

The quintet stepped forward. They made it no more than five steps past the door before it slammed shut. They spun around and saw several large men pointing guns at them. More goons closed ranks, and soon they were completely circled.

A few goons at the far edge of the circle stepped aside, and a heavyset bald man with an eyepatch, a black mustache, and a beard stepped forward. He took a drag from his hand-rolled cigarette and stared at El Chinchilla distastefully.

"[Ah, the famous El Chinchilla. How nice of you to drop by,]" the man said in Spanish.

"[Believe me, José, this was not my idea,]" El Chinchilla responded.

José Ramos laughed. "[Of course not. I wouldn't expect El Chinchilla to be dumb enough to come here.]"

"[I come with some, shall we say, friends. They request an audience and a favor.]"

"[Oh, _friends_. Let me guess, they know something you wish they didn't.]"

"[I know something you wish I didn't, José. Or would you like me to tell everyone about–]"

"[SILENCE!]"

The conversation stopped there. José Ramos looked around the circle angrily. His eyes landed on Ron and settled there.

"[So is _he_ one of your _friends_?]" José asked.

"[Yes,]" El Chinchilla admitted.

José laughed disdainfully and stalked over to the group. Pushing El Chinchilla aside, he grabbed Ron's chin and turned the boy to face him.

"[So, you want information?]" he asked Ron mockingly.

"[The gringos don't speak Spanish,]" El Chinchilla said.

José frowned. "So, you want information?" he asked.

"Yes, we do," Kim said.

José's brow wrinkled, but he chose to ignore Kim's response. "Tell me, _boy_ , do you remember me?"

"Um, well, actually, yeah, you're, uh, aren't you, um–" Ron stalled for time.

"I see you don't. Well, I remember you. It's been quite a while, _The Kid_."

Ron looked at him blankly. Suddenly, his eyes widened with sudden realization. He chuckled awkwardly.

"Oh, yeah, The Kid! Yeah, sorry, I was on a–" he started to say before José Ramos shoved him backwards into one of the thugs. José walked up to him and got in his face.

"If you want information, it'll be on my terms," José said angrily. "I folded away a straight because of you, and I want payback!" He clapped his hands and called out to his staff. "[Gentlemen, ready the stage. It's time for poker!]" He turned back to Ron. "You must think you're pretty clever."

"No!" Ron said quickly. "No, not clever, not me! I'd actually say–"

"How about a game of poker?" José asked, interrupting him.

"I dunno, I–" Ron started to say.

"That wasn't a request, boy."

* * *

 **Ramos Casino of Cusco  
Cusco, Peru**

A half-moon table was set up on a small stage. Three seats were placed at the table. Two of them faced the audience, and were where Ron and José sat. The third faced them. In that chair was a dealer.

The table itself was very thin, with small legs and almost unobstructed views of the two gamblers. José Ramos smirked as he dropped his cigarette onto the floor, ground it out with his heel, and began work on another one.

"So, I take it you know the rules?" José asked smugly.

"Uh, no, actually–" Ron started to respond.

"Well then, I'll make it simple," José said, grinning wickedly. "I win, you strip. You win, I strip."

"Wait, what?" Ron asked, shocked.

"Not so confident now, are you?" José said. "Don't worry, I'll even count your backpack and belt. Make it easy on you."

Ron gulped. His breath got wheezy, and he started glancing around the room for an escape.

"[Dealer! Let's go!]" José exclaimed.

The dealer rolled his eyes and sent five cards to each player. José grinned as he scanned his cards. Ron did not. He stared at his cards and then set them down on the table. When José slid four cards to the dealer, Ron didn't react except to sweat a bit more. José then turned his cards over and grinned sadistically.

"Well, boy? You gonna turn 'em over?" José asked.

Ron gulped and turned his cards over. José snorted.

"[Two pair beats a pair,]" the dealer said in Spanish before repeating himself in English. He gestured towards Ron.

"That's right," José said. "Now strip!"

Seeing no other options, Ron stood up and removed his backpack. He set it next to his seat. José chuckled.

"That'll do for a starter, but I want a little bit more for my money." He turned to the dealer. "[Next hand!]"

* * *

 **Ramos Casino of Cusco  
Cusco, Mexico**

When Ron didn't exchange any cards during the next hand and subsequently lost, he decided to change it up. The next hand he was dealt, he sent all his cards back.

José barked out a laugh. "Good move, boy. I'm sure it'll pan out."

José sent in two cards and turned his hand over, revealing a pair of twos. Nervously, Ron turned his cards over and revealed a pair of queens. José looked at him angrily.

"Well, looks like you got lucky," José growled. "Lemme show you what it's like to _not_ be lucky."

José removed his eyepatch, revealing an ugly red scab where his eye should be. He dropped his eyepatch on the ground and grinned at Ron.

"Let's see how lucky you are, punk."

* * *

 **Ramos Casino of Cusco  
Cusco, Mexico**

The game continued in this manner, with Ron alternately holding on to all his cards and discarding all of them. Only twice did he get rid of just some of his cards, and he won one of the hands while losing the other. This wasn't an advanced strategy on his part, though; instead it was a complete lack of knowledge about how to play the game combined with some wild guesses. As the game progressed, Ron found himself winning more often than his opponent, and when José had been worked out of his socks, shoes, jacket, and necktie, he apparently started to feel the pressure, as he summoned a bartender over to the stage and ordered a drink.

While he waited for his drink to arrive, the cards were dealt again. José looked at his cards, grinned, and discarded two, while Ron held on to his initial five. When they put them on the table, though, José won with a pair of sevens against Ron's ace high.

Ron stood up sadly and removed his belt. "Farewell, good friend," he told the accessory. "You were a great help."

José growled. "Enough of your theatrics, boy. Let's see you lose the rest of your clothing."

Ron sat down again and the dealer laid five in front of Ron and José. José tossed aside two cards, while Ron exchanged his entire hand. When he revealed his cards, though, he had three sevens against José's pair of fives. Jose's face went beet red, and he tore his shirt off, tossing it to the side. He cracked his knuckles and stared down Ron.

Another hand was dealt, and José's bourbon arrived immediately after his cards. He took a sip and slid three cards back to the dealer. At the same time, Ron sent his entire hand back. The dealer gave them their cards, and José flipped his over, revealing that he had an ace high. Ron did the same and showed that he had a pair of sevens.

Instead of exploding, José took a deep breath and threw the rest of his drink back. He then stood up and dropped his trousers, thereby revealing that today he had chosen to go commando.

"I suppose you won, The Kid," José said. "But you wanted information, isn't that right?"

"That I do," Ron said proudly. "That. I. Do."

"Then let's make a deal," José said. "One last hand, all the marbles. You win, I give you the information you want. You lose, you get out."

"Hey!" Kim complained. "He was _playing_ for information!"

José eyed her coldly. "No, he was _playing_ to _pay off his debt_ to me. Believe me, señorita, if you wanted me to find a more difficult way for him to pay it off, you should have said something."

Kim opened her mouth to say something, but Shego clapped a hand over her mouth. "Watch it!" she hissed into Kim's ear. "Trust me, this is one guy you _don't_ want to cross."

José looked over to Ron. "So, The Kid, are you interested?"

Ron pretended to be calm as he leaned back in his chair. "Deal the cards, bro."

The dealer sent the cards over to the players. Ron looked over his cards: the queen of diamonds, the ten of hearts, the nine of hearts, the five of diamonds, and the queen of clubs. Although it was a decent hand, it might as well have been Swahili to Ron, who mentally decided to just go with it. José, on the other side of the table, had been dealt the other two queens, the ace of hearts, and the ten and three of clubs. José smirked as he slid the ten and three to the dealer and got a pair of eights.

As soon as he got these cards and slid them into his hand, his face cracked into a grin and he slammed his cards down on the table. Ron gulped as he turned his cards over, and José's grin grew wider as he processed his win. Saying nothing, José got up and walked away from the table calmly. Ron watched him leave, heart sinking into his stomach as José walked away, proud and naked.

"Yeah, well, I've still won two out of three!" he suddenly yelled. José Ramos stopped in his tracks, ears reddening. "That's right, José! Or did you forget I cost you your straight? Face it, I'm a better poker player! And for once, I've still got my pants on!"

José stormed back to the table, a look of sheer rage on his face. He yanked his chair out and sat down.

"Fine, boy," he said angrily. "You'll lose all your clothes now."

"And if I don't?" Ron asked smugly.

"You'll get your information," José said. "NOW STRIP!"

Ron stood up, shrugging, and reached for his shirt to take it off. Before he could, however, his pants fell down.

"Aw, man! Again?" Ron complained. He kicked his pants away.

"[DEAL THE CARDS!]" José yelled.

The dealer snapped to, quickly spreading five cards in front of each of them. Ron didn't even glance at his cards, instead sending them back to the dealer. The enraged José examined his cards for several seconds before coming to a conclusion and forcefully thrusting two cards at the dealer.

The dealer handed José two cards back. Jose looked at them, growled deeply in his throat, and slapped his hand down, revealing a ten high one card short of a straight flush. Ron revealed his cards more calmly, showing that he had a pair of sixes.

José hunched in on himself, huffing angrily. He stared at Ron.

"Alright, boy," he said in a measured voice. "What's your question?"

"Kim?" Ron called squeakily. "He wants to know what our question is!"

Kim stepped forward. "We were given a cryptic riddle that pointed us towards Cusco. After that, it got confusing. Could you please explain it for us?"

José lit another cigarette and sat back. "Fine. What is it?"

"Um, at Cusco you will find the clues that send you to the past. Be sure to stay inside the lines, you'll find your friends at last," Kim recited.

José exhaled a heavy breath of smoke. "It's the Nazca lines. That, or cocaine. Probably cocaine. Might be both. Now get out."

"Thanks so much," Ron ventured.

* * *

 **1115 Calle 27  
Cusco, Peru**

The quintet landed on the pavement outside roughly. Ron scrambled to his feet.

"Hey! Don't I at least get my clothes back?" he called to the guards.

The only response was a slammed door. The other four got up and dusted themselves off, and Ron rejoined them.

"Well, at least we know where to go from here," Kim said.

"Seriously?" Motor Ed asked. "How do you know we can trust him?"

"We don't," Shego said sharply. "Now let's go."

"Okay, okay," Kim said. "Hey, thanks for the help. Do you–"

Kim's question died in her throat as she realized that El Chinchilla had disappeared.

"C'mon, Kimmie!" Shego called, already halfway down the block. "We've got something called the Nazca Lines to get to!"


	13. Desert Lines

**Nazca Desert  
Peru**

By midnight, Shego had led the rest of her group to the Nazca Lines.

"Okay, we're here," she said grumpily. "So tell us, guy who minored in dead people, what are we going to find here?"

"Well, nobody's really sure," Motor Ed said. "Seriously. The Nazca Lines could have been built purely for religious purposes, or for a more mundane use, or for both. They might reflect constellations or be intended as artwork for the gods or give directions. It's likely that this is some kind of holy site, but we may seriously never know its true purpose."

"Maybe they just wanted to make some pretty pictures," Ron suggested innocently.

Shego snorted.

"What? It's possible!" Ron defended himself.

"Oh, sure," Shego said. "I bet. A bunch of people came out to the desert and moved a bunch of rocks around because they wanted to make pretty pictures!"

"Hey!" Kim said sharply. "Don't make fun of my boyfriend."

Shego's face ran through several expressions in quick succession, from surprise to astonishment to disgust before settling on pure confusion. "Still?"

"What do you mean, _still_ _?_ " Kim asked, upset.

"I mean, really? You're _still_ dating him?" Shego asked.

"Well, yeah. You didn't know that?" Kim asked.

Shego snickered. "That is _precious_. Kim Possible, straight As, cheerleader, is still stuck with this loser after she graduates high school. What, did nobody in the local homeless shelter want to date you?" She began laughing. "This is just hilarious! You're all grown up, and you're still sticking with your loser sidekick! Someone who thinks that–"

Kim put a fist in her face. Shego got up, nose bleeding and eyes filled with rage.

"You're going to regret doing that," she said darkly.

"The only thing I regret is spending these last few days with you!" Kim said. " _Motor Ed_ is better company!"

Shego growled and launched herself at Kim. "At least I'm not saddled with a complete moron!"

Kim dodged her punches. "Oh really? Because it seems to me you're only on this trip to get Drakken back, and he's pretty stupid if you ask me!"

"Nobody asked you!" Shego yelled. "You know why? Because you're always asking someone else for help!"

"That's not true!" Kim defended herself.

"Oh yeah? When's the last time you bought a plane ticket?" Shego asked angrily, kicking at Kim. "Face it, _Kimmie_ , you survive off the kindness of others!"

"That's because I'm kind to them!" Kim said, grabbing Shego's foot and throwing her. "You should try it sometime, instead of being a complete _witch_ _!_ "

Shego growled and wiped her mouth. "Talking ends now!"

Shego leapt at Kim, aiming a kick at the redhead's face. Kim ducked but threw her hands up, grabbing Shego by the armpits and slamming her onto the ground. She jumped on top of Shego, attempting to punch her in the face, but Shego kneed her in the crotch, causing Kim to jolt and whimper in pain. Shego followed this up with a sharp jab, knocking Kim off balance, and then grabbed Kim and rolled so she was on top. Shego lit up her hands, but before she could deliver a painful blow Kim slammed her heel down on Shego's shin. Shego made a choking sound as she shifted, and Kim quickly drew her legs up before smoothly moving into several backflips. Shego growled and chased after her, but Kim continued to evade. Ron started towards the pair, but Motor Ed held him back.

"Whoa, kid. You're gonna get killed if you try to get between them." He nodded. "Seriously."

Ron took another look at the fighting women. "But if I don't, _Kim_ could get killed!"

Motor Ed thought about it. "You might be right. Oh well."

Ron tried to make a run for the fighting women again, but Motor Ed held him back. As Ron struggled to get free, a portal opened behind them and a large, well-built teenage boy stepped through.

"Okay, let's see, I have instructions to pick up a Kim Possible, a Ron Stoppable, a Motor Ed..." Biffy stopped. "Wow, seriously? And I was thinking Wade Load was bad."

Biffy finally looked up from his sheet of names and took in the scene. Shego was trying to punch a hole in Kim's stomach, Ron was still being held captive by Motor Ed, and Motor Ed was trying to decide whether to watch the fight or the newcomer.

"Wow, what'd I walk into?" Biffy asked.

Motor Ed shrugged. "Green and Red have been at each others throats all week."

"O-kay then," Biffy said. "You must be Ron Stoppable."

"What? No, bro!" Motor Ed said, annoyed. "Seriously! I'm Motor Ed! Seriously!"

"Well then, _you're_ Ron Stoppable?" Biffy asked Ron.

Ron raised a hand to wave weakly. "Hey."

"Okay, I'm gonna need you two to step through this portal here, okay?" Biffy asked.

"Wait, hold on," Ron said. "You mentioned Wade. Do you have him?"

"Yeah, we do," Biffy said. "So, you guys wanna–"

"You got my cuz, too?" Motor Ed asked. "Because seriously, we need to find my cuz."

Biffy wrinkled his nose. "Does he have blue skin and complain a lot?"

"Yeah, that's him," Ron said.

Biffy shrugged. "He's with us too. I don't know why."

"HEY!" Motor Ed barked. "THIS GUY HAS OUR DUDES! SERIOUSLY!"

Kim and Shego looked up when they heard him yell. Their eyes locked onto Biffy.

"Uh, yeah, I do," Biffy said. "Now, if you'll all just come with me–"

Kim and Shego ran towards him, ready to attack. They punched him simultaneously, sending Biffy through the portal. As one, the group of four rushed through the portal after him.

* * *

The story continues and concludes in "Open Your Eyes," posted under Cartoon X-Overs. Or you could visit my user page and work from there. Either way, the story in this fic as well as the ones in the other three Open Your Eyes fics come to a conclusion in "Open Your Eyes."

Thanks for reading!


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